SALE ! SALE !! SALE !!!
Star attraction —– All European banks and US banks are on sale due to festive season !!
Any interested party can contact the respective Central Banks for buying the distressed banks either at a discount or for free. You can contact FED for purchase of tottering US investment/commercial banks.Please note that all these institutions are still rated AAA.
If you are looking to buy any European bank/investment/mortgage banks then you will have to wait for 3 to 6 months as the suppressed true picture will take time to come out.
(In the past few weeks, the United States and Britain , Belgium , Germany , Denmark , Ireland , Iceland , Luxembourg and the Netherlands have all had to step in with billions to support their banks, broker rescue deals or guarantee credit to keep their banking systems from collapsing.)
Terms & Conditions Apply:
If you buy one investment bank you get a mortgage bank free.
If you have the political clout then you would get two mortgage banks free for 1 investment bank and 1 commercial bank.
Some funding also is thrown in as incentive.
Banks which purchased other banks some months ago are also on sale.So chose your pick and come in droves for this sale.
If you don’t allow your nation’s currency to appreciate then you are not permitted to bid for the investment banks but you can bid for the commercial banks.
If you don’t cut your interest rates then you are not permitted to bid for the commercial banks.
Down payment is not required and payment can be made in instalments.
Special concessions for dollar payments and if you have an ex-investment banker on your board.
P.S.Some of the investment banks which employed the current CB officials have been allowed to become banks so they are not for sale at present which please note.
Also note not to consider the rating done by those agencies who are busy downgrading Asian Banks due to sub-prime and credit crisis.
Also please note that all the Harward regulators want the Asian countries to open up their banking sector so that the super clever MNC Banks can bring about such crisis in Asia in say another 2 to 3 years.
( But Wall St execs earned $ 3 billion in the last 5 years while they presided over the packaging and sale of loans that helped bring down the investment banking system.)
Sale !!! Sale !!! Sale !!!!
What worries me most about the credit crunch,
is that if one of my cheques is returned stamped
‘insufficient funds’, I won’t know whether
that refers to mine or the bank’s!
NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS
CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO— Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER — What my broker has made me.
=”font-size:9pt;”>STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW— The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.
Quote of the day :
I am more interested in the return of my money than the return on my money