CS Urja Mahesh Karia
The more free the mind, the more we can cultivate good thoughts into being. But our minds are full of clutter. We worry more about what others are doing, whether it concerns us or not. We judge people. We conclude how a person is based on whatever we come to know about them. But there always is other end of the story too. Everything, be it good or bad has two sides. We must not harbor any thoughts before we are aware about the entire story. It’s just not the bad that people do which gets them judged, even if someone is succeeding honestly in their life, it invites judgmental behavior from people.
‘When we judge someone, we only see what we want to see, we fail to see what the person wants to show us’
Whether we accept it or not, we always enjoy talking about people, especially behind their backs. Somewhere in life, everyone makes mistakes or does bad things, knowingly or unknowingly, but we always give ourselves the benefit of doubt. So, we must remember that no person is bad, only the situation is. ‘We must hate the deed, not the doer’.
Now we may as well feel this is something which looks good only in scriptures and cannot be brought into use or practice. If you think you cannot stop criticizing or judging people then maybe you are underestimating yourself big time. There’s much more to life than finding faults (real or imaginary) in people. If we cannot comprehend one’s situation, we must at least not misinterpret it.
When we judge others we merely judge ourselves. We mirror back something which we can relate too. Before we talk bad about the person, we must ask ourselves, ‘what do i know about that person?’ This may help you to stop. Why should we reserve a place in our minds for all these things? It will only make ourselves unhappy. And who are we to judge them? Are we so superior? We never leave an opportunity to miss someone’s mistake or wrong doing, which boosts our false sense of superiority. We indulge in this pretentious behavior. ‘Instead, Let us show some love and cut some slack to those people. We don’t know half the mishappenings in their lives’.
We are Mortals. We sure cannot completely stop criticizing people or judging them, it naturally comes to us. It takes a lot of practice before we can stop talking ill about someone. But we can do one thing. Whenever we start talking bad about someone or it even leads to a small gossip, the moment you realize what is happening, you stop right there and silently say in your heart, “I know you have done this and it is wrong but i will let it go and free myself of this thought” and then change the topic. What good will talking about it and saying bad about the person make?
As Nick Carraway quoted F Scott Fitzgerald in The Great Gatsby, “Whenever you feel like criticizing any one, just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”